As I sit behind my laptop writing this letter of reflection exactly ten days to my 25th birthday (LOL), I have an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment. This year, let alone my first few years of adulthood have been an absolute roller coaster full of unexpected and unwanted twists and turns. But as time elapsed, I realized what matters most in this life and how many subtle luxuries I used to ignore. Anyone who knows me knows that I put extreme pressure on myself with any goal I work towards, especially career-wise. I grew up as the younger sibling and spoiled girl child, so it’s in my nature to expect to always get what I want. As I’ve grown in not only my age but also my walk with Jesus (hello church girl), I’m reminded ever so often that this mentality will not work in this enigmatic cycle called life. Naturally, I know that Romans 8:28 is true—all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. But that doesn’t mean things will always work out how I see fit. Instead, it means fully surrendering to God’s plan and process, and trusting that He is so sovereign and down for me, that even if things don’t pan out my way, I know His way will supersede my expectations.
As I think about entering another quarter, I’ve realized the most basic, yet profound lesson one can master in this life: it’s okay. I’ve been in a constant state of reflection since the fourth quarter began, and it finally clicked that I wasted too much time worrying about the future; so much that I was fighting the present. I was laser-focused on what I didn’t have, rather than showing gratitude for what I do have. This epiphany ushered me to remember. Remember some people have it way worse than I ever could have imagined. Remember that my identity comes from above, not what I attain on Earth. Remember what I’ve been taught. Remember where I come from. Remember that I used to pray certain prayers and I’m living in their manifestations. Remember that I don’t have to rush when I have the greatest connection in the world, the Master of Time. And most importantly, remember that God is God and I am not.
I also spent some time scrolling through my seriously way too-large photo album, coming across many baby and adolescent pictures of myself. I look at little Naomi, not as an escape from my present, but as an inspiration. In many of the photos, she’s smiling, making her signature kissy face, and enjoying the love around her family and friends—all without a care in the world. She’s free. And these days, that’s more of my focus. To maintain my newfound sense of liberation, after experiencing some of the greatest and worst moments of my life. To no longer think or be on edge, but to know. Knowing that I don’t have to allow past hurts to dictate my movements. Knowing that I don’t have to defend myself. Knowing that favor from Above speaks for me. Knowing that I am here for a purpose greater than what feeds my desires. Knowing that I’m beautiful. Knowing God. Knowing me.
Younger Naomi would also be proud of me. Many Black women in fashion media have gone before me, many of whom I’ve looked up to, and thought would be the blueprint for my journey. Having been in the field for almost seven years, my path has been anything but conventional or what I’ve seen before. From leaving photography school to start my blog in 2018 to getting my first big girl editorial position at PopSugar after my then-manager saw my profile on EveryStylishGirl’s Biz directory. After almost three years on the editorial side, I’ve worked with some of the biggest publications, including ESSENCE, ELLE, InStyle, and Bustle; interviewed major figures like Teyana Taylor, Brandon Blackwood, and LaLa Anthony; and even enjoyed some exhilarating experiences courtesy of brand events like taking a helicopter ride around the city. All this without your average degree. God’s hand has been on me, to say the least.
There are so many things I thought I would have by 25, but yet another realization has come to mind: I have everything I need. I recall my first appointment with my holistic doctor, where I expressed that I wished I found her sooner. She responded, “Nothing ever happens before it’s supposed to.” Since then, I’ve endeavored to apply this concept to every aspect of my life and quickly discovered how true it is. Regardless of all the ups and downs, I am exactly where I need to be at this point. My responsibility is to work smart and seize each moment while the Man above handles the rest. Yes, there’s so much more for me to do, but right now, I embrace that I am a 25-year-old who’s doing amazing. I am a student who looks back in thankfulness and looks forward with faith. I am the girl from Brooklyn who’s making it. I am a woman with little Naomi’s freedom. I am a butterfly done with metamorphosis. I am resilient. I am learning peace. I am me.
Happy Birthday to me! <3
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]."
2 Corinthians 5:17 {AMP}
Much love and peace,
-Nay.
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